“Honestly, in my first day of classes, I knew that I wasn’t going to stay in sales. I knew that I wanted to try it and experience it, but my passion really is mentoring, and training, and empowering others to be their best self.” – Debra Trappen
Topic – What is moxie?
Kevin: Now to our feature interview for this morning, this is Sherrie Storor talking to Debra Trappen. Debra is behind a great movement in the states called WomanUP!® that’s part of the conversation.
Kevin: And by the way too, all the interviews that we’re featuring this week, are all videos, and you’ll see them all right now at propertytv.io. Here’s Sherrie Storor with Debra Trappen.
Sherrie: So here we are. We’re with the most remarkable woman, and she is the founder of the WomanUP!® movement amongst many other remarkable and most amazing things. We’re here with Debra Trappen. Debra, thank you so much for joining us.
Debra: My pleasure, my pleasure.
Sherrie: So, for those of us who haven’t met you before, can you give us a bit of your background, a bit of your story?
Debra: You bet. So, I want to make sure that we’re really clear. I work with the founders of the WomanUP!® movement.
Sherrie: You work with the founders?
Sherrie: Great. Thank you.
Debra: So, I wouldn’t say I’m a founder. I’m a founding member.
Sherrie: Founding member.
Debra: Yes. So, I work with them. I’ve been in the real estate space since 2002. I actually had relocated with my husband to the Pacific Northwest and fell in love with the real estate transaction.
Debra: I was like, “This is really fun. I think I should try this.” Like most, it’s either you have a bad experience or a great experience. Thankfully, we have the great one.
Debra: Honestly, in my first day of classes, I knew that I wasn’t going to stay in sales. I knew that I wanted to try it and experience it, but my passion really is mentoring, and training, and empowering others to be their best self.
Debra: So, the first five or six years of my career, I sold, and then I moved in to corporate. And I headed the recruiting, retention, training, and at that point, the brand new thing called social media for my brokerage, and that was such a blast being part of that.
Sherrie: Wonderful. I also know that you’re this huge … Well, you travel the world really, speaking and inspiring others, as you said, help work on their businesses, but you also talk about this thing called finding your Moxie, right?
Sherrie: Yes. So, what is the Moxie? How do we get it, and how do we find it?
Debra: When I looked at how I wanted to package, if you will, how I connect with others and really what I know I meant to do on this planet, it’s really to fire people up from the inside out. And I looked at all of these great words and then I looked at the industry and thought, Moxie’s, such a fun word.
Debra: It’s one of those words that connects with so many different generations, just as real estate is. And I think we all kind of lean in a little bit and say, “What is Moxie?” And so, when I opened my practise, the concept was, yes, I want to talk about business, but I really want to talk about you as the human. I want to talk about what your core values are. How are you living in line to those and where do you maybe need to shift and pivot a little bit so that the decisions that you’re making on a daily basis, whether it’s a client or a volunteer opportunity, they feel good and they fill up what I call your cell tank.
Debra: So, we have the core values piece. We have the cell tank piece, which is doing things that you love, with people you love, serving those you love. And then I move into helping people find their purpose.
Debra: That is one of the most interesting conversations with others because they think it’s this huge zen mode moment, right? Like they’re going to have to go on a vision quest when really we’re living it every day. We’re living our purpose.
Debra: And so, once I get those three areas together, then it really just depends on what that person or the audience or the company wants to focus on. Do they want to help their agents become better networkers? Do they want to help them set better goals?
Debra: All of those areas, really, fall in line with those first three. So, if they can leverage who they are and building their business, it’s great. So once they decide that, then the Moxie part is what kicks in. And then, that part of the kind of the followup processes, how do you build habits to support what you’ve just decided you want to create? How do you hone or really wrangle yourself talk, right? Because we know that 80% of our self-talk is repetitive and almost 90% can be negative.
Debra: And so, I have this great programme that helps people write their custom affirmations so that they’re speaking to that person who is the best version of themselves.
Sherrie: Well, I absolutely love what you’ve said there. And I think one of the big, deep words right now, it’s all about hustle and grinding. And I’m probably a bit like you, I just saw that face you pulled.
Sherrie: But it’s not about hustling. It’s not about grinding. It’s actually about creating habits that built a beautiful life and a life full of purpose. So, if somebody is sort of struggling in life to find these, like how do you help them kind of delve into who they are as an individual and actually pull this out of themselves?
Debra: Well, I have a really fun little exercise that I do when people come to me and they feel that they’re overwhelmed because of the hustle and hurry. And that is, we pull out their calendar and then we pull up their list of core values. And we look at each one of the appointments and the clients that are on for the next couple of weeks and we start deleting.
Debra: And it’s really interesting. They’re very nervous at first. They’re like, “Oh, but I said yes to that event. I can’t say no now. And I said …” I always say, “It’s more selfish to keep an appointment than to release it if you’re really not passionate about it,” because there is someone else who’s waiting for that to be their best yes, and you’re sitting in it, but you’re sitting in it in the sad kind of overwhelmed space.
Debra: And so, I truly believe that once we create margin for what matters, that hustle starts to fall to the side, we experience what living our best life means. And you hear things like, I want to live out loud, I want to live on purpose, I want to live on my own terms.
Debra: Well, that requires margin to actually discover who you are. So, it is one of the most remarkable journeys that I take with people. It’s so much fun.
Sherrie: I love that. So, I think that’s super powerful. And there’s something that you mentioned there, build your best life. And that’s actually my hashtag. So, that’s what I’m really well known for. So, I’m just loving this conversation.
Sherrie: And I think it’s so important, so powerful. And I think it doesn’t matter where you are in the world, there are so many people who are feeling like this because within the real estate industry, we work a lot, and we’ve been trained to work a lot.
Sherrie: And so, when you’re mentioning there about removing items from your calendar and people really having resistance to that, I mean, it’s very, very difficult for people to let go. So, how do you really help change that mentality of working all the time in the seven days, in addition to what you just mentioned there, to really fundamentally, not just saying no to that appointment, but to put themselves first. And so, that way they’re mentally clear to free themselves up to do their best deals and their best work within the industry.
Debra: Right. There’s something, it’s around theatres first called FOMO, right? It’s a huge hashtag. So, those of you who don’t know what it means, fear of missing out. And so, I really speak to that, and I speak to you the fact that the fear of missing out really is related to the fact of not actually knowing who your niche is, not knowing really what business you want. And that’s why you fear missing out. Because you fear if you don’t attend that event, you’re going to miss meeting a client.
Debra: But how the process that I take people through, it helps them understand that if they value efficiency, if they value mastery, then them going to 101 sales class is not for them. So, they can say no.
Debra: And if other people are there, great. But it’s.. They’re not going to miss out on their ultimate connections at that event. Same for adventure or any of the other fantastic core value words, they can start to see their events.
Debra: And so, it flips the FOMO into JOMO, the joy of missing out. Where once they say, “No,” they’re like, “Oh, I know it’s going to be so amazing because I’ve, again, just created some margin.”
Debra: I think we all know that, or we’ve all heard about manifesting, right? Manifesting the greatest to come towards us. I think that when you are in that hustled and hurried space and you are FOMO and you are asking to be part of everything, you have no energy left to attract those beautiful opportunities that you’re seeking. I really believe this, that once you experience it, once you experience that joy of missing out, you realise you’ll survive.
Sherrie: I love it. You’ll survive, you’ll survive.
Debra: You’ll survive.
Sherrie: Let’s get onto this WomanUP!® movement that’s been ongoing and kind of happening, so, tell me why this is important to you.
Debra: The WomanUP!® movement is actually a CAR. So, California Association of Realtors Initiative. And what is so important about it is that it really is about helping women who are broker owners or executive leaders, find their tribe of other women who are doing that.
Debra: But it also serves a second group, which is the women who are thinking, “Is that for me? Is that for me? What does it look like?” And so, we get them mentored.
Debra: But most importantly, it includes a third group, which is everyone who wants to support these two groups of women. And I have such a passion for setting the example of what a table with equal feminine and masculine energy looks like.
Sherrie: So, it’s so important, it’s so powerful.
Debra: It’s so important. And it’s so powerful. I understand when a table is full, it’s hard to be the one that pulls your table back and says, here’s a chair for you. And so, we’re really building a new table to show an example of what it’s like when we all support each other-
Sherrie: And be collaborative.
Debra: Yes. And it’s such a beautiful experience when we have our conferences, even when we do our Facebook lives, the conversations that happen underneath the questions from both women and men.
Debra: And it’s this whole space of empowering women. It’s.. from a child, it’s who I was and who I am today. It’s part of my intrinsic purpose. And so, the marriage of the two, my purpose and their vision has been explosive.
Sherrie: Wow. Well, I must admit, I went to my first WomanUP!® event the other night. And what was so remarkable about it and was so powerful was the fact that there was so many men in the room. So, I think that that was … Because we need the men in the room to really understand a woman’s point of view because, for a long time, we’ve been silent on the side.
Sherrie: And the men who were there, they were really strong, very influential men, and these are the guys who are totally getting it and help to really push women up and support women. So, it was [crosstalk 00:11:00].
Debra: They’re at those tables. They are there, and they can help get us there, into those conversations. And that is so epically important. And that’s part of what WomanUP!® embraces. It’s not an us versus them. And I’m so grateful for that.
Sherrie: That’s lovely. Well, listen, I want to ask you some crazy rapid-fire question, and we are at a tech conference. So let’s hit it. So, strap on your seatbelts. Let’s get ready for it. Tell me structure or chaos?
Debra: Structure or chaos? Chaos.
Sherrie: Love it. What’s your favourite Instagram filter?
Debra: Nashville, I think.
Sherrie: Nashville. Nashville. What do you swipe up on?
Debra: One more time?
Sherrie: What do you swipe up on?
Debra: Not much.
Sherrie: Not much?
Debra: Not much. Honestly.
Sherrie: When you’re swiping through your stories, is there something that intrigues you and captures your eye?
Debra: I love the behind the scene videos as opposed to the straight photos. So, if somebody is doing something and it’s moving, then I’ll stop.
Sherrie: Okay. So it’s more that role authentic as opposed to the polish, right?
Debra: Yes, yes.
Sherrie: What’s your favourite time-wasting app?
Debra: Usually, I wake up at about 7:11 every day. I lay in bed for about an hour and do my morning rituals and then kind of get into meditation.
Sherrie: Love it. Apple or Windows?
Debra: Oh, Apple. Even though I live in Microsoft territory.
Sherrie: And tell me, what’s the tech gadget that totally rocked your world?
Debra: Wow, that rocks. I mean, now or then?
Debra: Wow, that’s a great question. I’ve been so attached to my iPhone for so long, I don’t really know if I have a second. It’s like my baby.
Sherrie: And what was the last thing that you googled?
Debra: Probably the restaurant I ate at last night.
Sherrie: Okay. What was that? Let’s give them a shout out.
Debra: It was a cute steakhouse called Bobby something or other.
Sherrie: Love it.
Debra: Thank God I have google.
Sherrie: There’s Tony’s. There’s all these great American [crosstalk 00:12:50].
Debra: Yeah, Tony’s and Bobby’s. Yeah, exactly.
Sherrie: What’s your favourite Emoji?
Debra: Oh, fire.
Sherrie: Oh, the fire. Okay, cool. And you’re guilty for … Who’s somebody that you follow from outside the industry, who you love following?
Debra: Probably Jen Hatmaker.
Sherrie: And what does she do?
Debra: She is a speaker inside the circuit that … She’s a cross between Christian and sas. She’s also a Moxie girl.
Sherrie: Oh, okay. I love it. I love it. Well, Debra, thanks so much for joining us today, and we look forward to catching you up at the next show.
Kevin: Tomorrow in the show, Kieran Clair will catch up with Bill Fowler from Compass, an absolute powerhouse in the states. That will be tomorrow. See you then.